Science / Technologies 03 Jun, 2026

How to encourage a child to try new, scary things without traumatising them in the process

Business To Business, New Delhi, 3^rd June, 2026:  This is a common dilemma for parents. Many children experience anxiety around situations where they feel exposed, judged, or at risk of failure—whether it's a sports day, a class presentation, a music recital, or even attending a birthday party.
The challenge is finding a balance between supporting your child and helping them build confidence through experience.
Why children resist
When a child says, "I don't want to go," the issue is often not laziness or defiance. They may be worried about:

• Being embarrassed in front of peers.
• Not performing as well as others.
• Making mistakes publicly.
• Being the center of attention.
• Facing an unfamiliar or unpredictable situation.

Their anxiety can feel very real, even when adults see the event as routine.
Avoiding the two extremes
Parents often feel pulled between two approaches:
Pushing too hard

• "You're going and that's final."
• This can escalate distress and make the child feel misunderstood.

Letting them avoid everything

• This provides immediate relief.
• However, repeated avoidance can reinforce the belief that the situation is dangerous or unbearable.

Neither extreme is usually the most effective long-term solution.
A middle path: acknowledge and encourage
Instead of arguing about whether the fear is reasonable, acknowledge it:

• "I can see you're really nervous about the race."
• "Speaking in front of the class feels scary for you."

Then help the child focus on participation rather than performance:

• "You don't have to be the fastest."
• "The goal is to give it a try."
• "It's okay to feel nervous and still do it."

This approach validates the emotion without allowing anxiety to make all the decisions.
Build confidence gradually
Children often gain confidence after experiencing a feared situation and discovering they can cope.
You can help by:

• Practising presentations at home.
• Visiting a venue beforehand if possible.
• Discussing what will happen step-by-step.
• Helping them plan how to handle mistakes or setbacks.

The message becomes: "You can do hard things, even when you feel nervous."
When flexibility is appropriate
There are times when accommodation makes sense:

• The child is experiencing overwhelming distress.
• There are signs of significant anxiety affecting daily life.
• The situation is beyond their current coping skills.

In such cases, working with teachers, school staff, or a mental health professional can help develop a gradual plan rather than forcing immediate participation.
A useful question for parents
When deciding whether to push, accommodate, or compromise, ask:
"Am I helping my child avoid anxiety, or helping them learn to manage it?"
Children don't need to feel fearless before trying something difficult. Often, resilience develops when they discover they can handle discomfort, uncertainty, and imperfection—and come out the other side okay.